Saturday, 23 June 2012

ESP in medical experiments & the Great Prayer Experiment.

ESP -The Scientific Evidence

ESP -AN INTRODUCTION.
ESP stands for extra sensory perception or what is known as psi. The words “extra sensory perception” were coined to describe an ability to perceive without the aid of sensory means. I have continued to call this ability ESP owing to convention but in my own words I would prefer to call it direct mental perception or DMP because that says more about it than to says it is not sensory-aided perception. ESP is a very important piece of evidence that points very strongly to the existence of a non-physical aspect of reality. It flies in the face of the current scientific paradigm and for that reason, to many scientist it is an anathema. So they have tried to trash it. Let's take it out of the trash and have a better look at it.


THE EVIDENCE OF ESP
              -RIGHT INSIDE THE DOCTORS OWN EXPERIMENTS!
There are many experiments being done on ESP but many of them are marginal in how they go about displaying ESP and done under punishing conditions because the scientific community have many and mostly unrealistic demands. They claim ESP “simply cannot be real” and this opinion is not based on any evidence, quite the contrary in fact. ESP flies in the face of the current scientific paradigm and their staunched belief in materialism as the only aspect of reality. I will discuss some of these experiments. However there are glaring examples right inside the biomedical experiments and specifically those that test drugs. In these experiments ESP is a nuisance.

And we can see that because in single blinded trials those with the blank (that they want to call a placebo) never get well only those with the drug show a placebo effect. Those with the drug have been insightful and thus knowing that they had been given a drug so they believe they will get well, in other words there is a placebo effect created. In a double blind, if the whole truth be told, all of them will display a placebo effect.

The reason is simple. If a person is blinded and that means not only no sensory information but none that they can insightfully perceive, and they are desperate to get well, then they can simply make a choice. They can choose to believe that they have a drug. So no matter whether they are given a drug or a blank there will be a placebo effect. So really double blinding makes the problem worse. However the point here is that the researchers screen out the ESP using the technique of double blinding. It shows us clearly that in experiments on ESP double blinding is inappropriate and yet they not only demand it’s use, scientists go on to claim that all experiments on ESP should be double blinding to make them scientific. This is untrue.





The one and only condition that is required to say that an experiment is scientifically conducted is to repeat the experiment without the test conditions. Such a repeat experiment is called a control experiment and it is important because it gives the researcher confidence that the results, which have been obtained, are due to the test conditions. And the researcher will know this because in the control there should be no result.

ESP in medical experiments.
ESP is most evident in single blinded drug trials. This ESP is the one that is most evident in relationship and I have named it “insightful perception”, to distinguish it from intuitive perception. My definitions are as follows:-
1. Insightful perception arises in and through personal relationships.
2. Intuitive perception arises out of the general relationship that we bear to all things in creation.. in the universe.


We have wide-ranging relationships with the many and varied things of creation, both animate and inanimate. But we have personal relationships with those important others in our lives, be they humans or pets, even plants.

Our insightful perception, as you will discover is strong, while the intuitive perception varies from person to person and in most people is very weak. Why? This is the price we pay for living in some level of comfort zone at any one time. The comfort zone is really a zone of fuzz that is brought about by seriously affects our attention level. So we avoid annoying thoughts at times but the price we pay is to lose our natural abilities and intuition being one of them. As a result we get very mixed results in the scientific experiments, with some people displaying more ability than others on intuitive perception, but even so the evidence is still plain enough to see.

Animals do not use comfort zones so are able to retain their intuitive abilities. In animals intuition is called instinct but this is just naming the ability differently so as to distance it from humans and hence from ESP. The reality is that animals display ESP and very strongly indeed, both intuitive and insightful perception and I will discuss those case too in the course of this book. I will also discuss some of the experiments on intuition that have been done in the laboratory so that you may see the results for yourself.

Insightful perception, unlike intuitive perception is very strong in all people owing to their relatedness. Relationship is an entanglement at the mental or non-physical level so there is the ability of two related people to share ideas and be highly perceptive of ideas that they present or uphold in mind. And the closer the relationship the stronger the insightful perception form of ESP. In a primary and long term relationship such as a sibling, spouse, parent and even long term best friend and long-term work mate, the ESP is at a premium. However an entanglement occurs even where there is a trivial form of relatedness, though here the level of insight is much, much lower. So the degree of entanglement is of extreme importance.

When we do the experiments properly and that is without denying relationship, the effects are obvious and indeed startling. You will be flabbergasted at the ESP ability you have and how much, at present you may be influenced by those around you. A person in close relationship with you can present ideas that you will take to be your own thinking, thanks to the medical misinformation and the doubt that skeptics help seed in people’s minds. The responses you give to presented ideas that you mistake as your own thinking are of course other ideas constitute a response to those others. What you are actually doing is responding to the presenter of the ideas so the ideas with which you respond , can be perceived by the other person. the presenter of the original ideas. Unknowingly you have entered into a dialogue with them, though all the while thinking it is all just your own thinking. This can be very dangerous as you will see.

There is propaganda out there claiming only “women’s intuition”. This is all about insightful perception and men are just as insightful as women. The men who have spread this propaganda are the very ones that use foul means to manipulate and control their wives and others around them. It is only throwing dust in other people’s eyes. They themselves claim that as men they don’t have any insightful perception or ESP but they sure do have it and privately they make a lot of use of it. As you will see later one person in a crowd can be uniquely and seriously, adversely affected under specific conditions that are relevant only to that one person. It can make others around that person feel that they are less insightful, which is not the case as you will soon see. They may see the person suffering even as mad. People who are not related to the presenter of a harmful idea are most often not aware of the presentation made because there is relational distance which is double blinding. However I have noticed that offenders do not engage iin foul game play when there are others around who are related to the person they want to victimize. This may be because those people may become perceptive and if they discuss their thoughts they would “smell a rat”.

When scientists talk about blinding they mean that something is being concealed. In a single blinded drug trial only the nature of the pills is concealed so that the patients do not know if they are taking a real drug or a dummy drug, which are usually pills of flour or sugar.

In a single blinded drug trial the research doctor administers the pills directly to his or her patients. As a result of the relationship that exists between the doctor and the patients insightful perception is not only possible but the reality; And as many as 30% or more of patient (some reports claim 50-70%) become aware of those thoughts of the doctor as are relevant to the patient. This situation is so problematic that the research doctors relationally distance the patients from themselves. It is done in an effort to eliminate this form of extrasensory perception or ESP. The relational distancing that is put into place is called double blinding.

In a drug trial there is a desire to eliminate ESP to stop the patients knowing what the doctor knows. It certainly eliminates ESP.. but it doesn’t help their experiments one iota because people who are desperate to get well will choose to believe that their issue is a real drug so they have made the problem worse not better but that’s another matter. In a single blinded drug trial it is a problem when a patient knows they have a drug they may believe it will make them well and thus a placebo effect is created. The placebo effect helps the patient get well so the doctors cannot properly determine the efficacy of the drugs. Thus they have used double blinding to get rid of the ESP but that makes things worse because now many will want to believe they have a drug and hence self-administer a placebo!


The placebo evidence.
In a double-blinded drug trial the blank is misleadingly called a placebo. The medical researchers know only too well that it is not a placebo because it is not given with any suggestion of the patient getting well if taken. If they gave the blank as a placebo they may find it to be as good as, if not better than, the drugs that they are testing and that does not help sell drugs. In a drug trial all doctors and patients are fully aware that the dummy drug which is referred to as a placebo is in fact a blank –“just sugar”.
A more glaring example of ESP is found in the placebo effect which is associated with the giving of placebos by doctors in a clinical situation to treat disease.

There is a third situation that shows up ESP as done by doctors. Some years ago they did the Great Prayer Experiment. They wanted to test the effects of prayer. It can be shown, when humane lay people repeat these experiments that not only is it an example of ESP but also of major sabotage as well. And it may or may not have been the research scientist in charge. Any number of other people would have been involved.
In the Great Prayer Experiment the patients were divided into two broad groups those that knew they were being prayed for and those that didn’t. Not knowing that someone is going to pray for you should get a nil result because without ESP there is no mental connection strong enough to yeild any result. Furthermore we can’t pray for someone else and get some positive result without that person’s permission first. Free will always stands in the way. They got either a nil result or a negative result, that is to say they either got no effect from the prayer or people got sicker. If they only got no result then not much could be said abot it, except perhaps that permission was not garnered first. However a negative result is a whole different kettle of fish. As I will show you soon, after we deal with the comfort zone, there is no way you can make the patient sicker than by foul game play!

The Great Prayer Experiment.
It is most important to take out all the dirty washing of atheist scientists out for public airing! In this case the way Prayer experiments have been conducted is nothing but an outrage. Prayer is supposedly “scientifically tested” for its healing effects and it appears, from the conclusions made, dishonesty was the order of the day. For the following two reasons!

1. Researchers claimed that for the experiments to be done “properly” it must comply with the “double blind standard”. NO EXPERIMENT MUST COMPLY WITH ANY SUCH STANDARDS WHATSOEVER! Experiments are freely devised and in a manner that allows the full exploration of whatever it is that we wish to observe. Standards only apply in the level of care taken and the comparisons used to test substances. Double blinding is a technique not a standard. To be scientific a control experiment is conducted, in which the object of observation is not included but everything else is kept the same, to verify that what is seen is real and not some spurious effect. True science is the unprejudiced seeking of knowledge. Double blinds here is not merely prejudice but sabotage.

2. The results that the scientists claimed, both the a nil and more particularly the negative result is cunningly fabricated and indeed indicates that there has to be evil people involved to do this sort of thing.

How are these results achieved?
To get a nil result even the placebo effect of prayer must be destroyed (which is the least case because prayer is much more than placebo). This of course is done by the use of double blinds. Double blinds are used to relationally distance the parties in a drug trial for the very reason that they want to disrupt the patient’s insightful perception, which comes with relationship. This is clearly seen in single blinded drug trials. The use of double blinds to destroy relationship in a prayer experiment is sabotage because insightfulness is necessary.

The loss of insightfulness is what the ‘double blind’ is all about. In a drug trial they want to render the patient ignorant of what they are given. In a prayer experiment this is totally inappropriate because here you do not want to have the patient ignorant of the prayer and the good will and beliefs for healing that it carries. In the giving of a prayer a “believer” (ie., truly good person, a humane person and also a theist) the patient will benefit and at the very least out of a placebo effect (even if the patient is an atheist) because they will gain the benefit of the believers confidence in healing.

In the concealing of the prayer, there is already a reduction in the prayer’s effectiveness, which is the first blind. AND of course the loss of consent, which needs to be given by the patient to the prayer giver.
However in creating relational distance, by the use of a second blind, the crucial factor of insightfulness is reduced to near zero, if not zero. Thus two crucial elements of prayer are removed. These elements are certainly not the whole of prayer but they are key ingredient. Thus double blinding renders the prayer and the prayer giving useless. And let me add here that the nil effect cannot be put down to the prayer-giver’s doubt because for that to affect the prayer giving there must of necessity be an existing relationship and not blinding; for the patient must have become insightful of the doubt in a prayer-giver.



The negative result.
For scientists to get a negative result for prayer, so that the patients get worse, a sinister scenario has got to be played out. Only a “prayer” that is really a nocebo can give a negative result.

A nocebo is a will to harm. And not anyone supposedly acting as a blind but who really know both sides will do to get a ‘negative result’. If these people were in no other way qualified then there ought to be some positive result as well. There was not. So the choice of a second blind, who is really related to both sides, is a deliberate choice and aimed to make the patient insightful of harm. The reason is as follows. Some of the people chosen as second blinds may be qualified to be gross materialists and people who are anti-religion and who additionally want to discredit prayer in favour of drugs. And these people must also be in positions of power over the patient to get a negative result. No amount of ill will is enough if there is no real avenue for that to be acted upon if they could betray the potential victim, the person that evil people call “the target”. Thus they are able not only to discredit prayer but to make it appear detrimental. These people may say the right words but the thoughts they entertain are not simply doubtful but harmful. However they must also have it in their power to potentially do harm, in order to get a negative result. The motive appears to try and promote materialism and atheism as being supported by science, and at the same time to discredit religion and cast prayer in the worst possible light. In fact if the truth be known science supports the existence of a non-physical or spiritual realm and they know that as they also know that a paradigm shift is just a matter of a short amount of time.

However there is also another sinister reason. Toxic individuals are well acquainted with the effects of relational entanglement (which I will explain in a coming blog) and the resulting insightfulness that ensures. Relational entanglement and insightfulness are publicly discredited through science, and deliberately exploited privately to gain power and influence over other people. It is the exact opposite to prayer. It is done by someone who is not only in relationship with “the target” but who, further to that relationship is either in a position of authority over that other person or through foul play obtains a position of authority. If blinding is used in all cases then no negative effect ought to be seen. Accepting a prayer for the sake of research does not contain any dangerous element or any dangerous situation to a patient. If anxiety is to be claimed as an explanation then to be scientific they need to inquire of the patient in a general sounding questionnaire (that is questioning without leading the patient) whether the patient felt any anxiety or had any negative ideas about accepting a prayer made on their behalf and for their benefit and only as a part of an experiment on prayer. Furthermore anxiety is a mix of emotions, fear and worry or anger and worry. These can be tested by monitoring the vital signs but they did not do that. None of this was reported as having been done so any conclusion made with respect to anxiety is only speculation.
So how can a negative result be obtained?

The creation of a nocebo effect, necessarily requires 3 basic elements:
  • relationships, both a trusted relationship and a relational entanglement,
  • the potential to do harm, as in the ability and authority to administer drugs, that may be  harmful or whose quantity may be harmful and
  • ill intent or ill will,
all of which cannot be proved or disproved by any independent party. How convenient!

HOWEVER the fact that they are needed to get a negative result CAN BE PROVED through scientific experimentation which group of lay non-toxic people can do!

1. The first element, that of relationship, in both a trusted relationship and relational entanglement can be achieved by a medical person who knows the patients and is trusted by the patient, have the patient sight the prayer-giver at a distance, as a stranger (I will explain this further in a coming blog on the basic foul play). In this way the double blinding is cunningly removed and the patients becomes sighted again.

2. The second element is the potential to do harm. This means that the medico and /or the prayer-giver (and the medico may be a prayer giver as well) or someone associated with them has the potential to harm the patient, which means they have access to some aspect of the patient’s person, treatment or personal life AND is in a close or trusted relationship with the patient.

3. Once the two elements above are in place the third element, the ill intent can be made to have a potent negative effect. So no actual harm needs be done. It is simply the patient’s reaction that becomes harmful to them.

The ill intent depends on what is upheld in the mind of the “prayer-giver” and not the wording of the prayer. Words convey meaning but they can be used deceitfully. It is the meaning level that matters because the selection of meaning either creates an issue of danger or the necessary moral support for the patient. Wording that sounds benign must create a nocebo effect. So even if the prayer is verbal and even said in the presence of the patient and made to sound good, it can still have a negative effect because as I said above all of the three elements are not visible, nor obvious of themselves. Let me give you some examples of the wording of a prayer that aids the ill intent (mentally made) as to make the prayer a nocebo.

The prayer words of:
Let’s pray for you” does not say to what end. Are they praying for you to live or die?
We’ll fix you” does not say in what way. When an evil person says "we'll fix them!" they mean kill or do harm to.  So to ‘fix’ someone can just as easily mean to harm or kill them as to make them well again!
May your progress go well” again does not give sufficient meaning. The words “your progress” may refer to the progress of your disease and not your progress towards health.

ALL OF WHAT IS SPOKEN therefore depends on the mental meaning attributed to those words by the prayer-giver as to whether progress means getting well or leading to death! There are many ways a prayer can be worded but it is the intent that is not visible and which is held in mind that gives the words meaning. Words are only the vehicles of meaning. And the mind is NOT in the brain. It is non-physical otherwise there would be no ESP. If the prayer-giver is relationally entangled with the patient and is the agent of someone who is in position of trust such as a toxic doctor or an atheistic scientist, who could potentially do harm, then the ill will gains not only meaning but also grounding, sufficient to really do harm. Then yes indeed a negative result… is guaranteed! The proof of the pudding, as it is said, is in the eating! If a patient gets worse as a result of a prayer given in an experiment, then no matter what is visible or not visible, right there in the negative result is the evidence. The only way to get a negative result is for the “prayer” to be the vehicle for administrating a nocebo. The nocebo can lead to the manifestation of disease in an unsuspecting person and with serious consequences. In dramatic colors it can be shown that cancer can be the order of the day owing to the person’s mental reactions and subsequent associated somatic reactions.

Even a well person can be made to display a fear reaction relevant to the danger that is posed, but danger that is not apparent. How much less is needed to produce a negative effect in a patient who is already suffering from some serious illness. Likewise the prayer-giver in the Great Prayer Experiment who gets a negative result is someone who has a real potential to do harm and who is in addition someone who carries a deliberate harmful intent and far from being a real double blind is instead relationally entangled with the patient! These are then the reasons why I say that while a nil result is the only outcome owing to double blinding, a negative result requires deceit and foul play, and it can be shown when experiments are repeated in the light of this knowledge. But ironically enough this experiment even with its negative result is clear evidence of ESP, the very condition they want to deny!

They have looked to cut ESP out of the picture because where disease is concerned it points to others and toxic relationships and the foul games that are played. And once a person gets a hint of this they will investigate further and when they identify, address and resolve issues.. bingo.. the stress and the disease begin to evaporate! This does not sell drugs. It is bad for business but good for humanity.

Experiments can be done that can prove scientifically and beyond the shadow of doubt that prayer is potent.. it is powerful, but even at the very least it can be shown that prayer can act as powerful placebos for healing.
Let us now look at some experiments as can be done by lay non-toxic people to prove ESP, even though we have the proof aready. However it is also important to investigate ESP under conditions of danger. You will see that when a person is fearful ESP is greatly enhanced. This is the key condition that is used by toxic people in foul game play.

I am going to add the next post as well as it is also relevant. On that post I discuss how we, the humane, lay public can test for ESP scientifically to satisfy ourselves of its reality.

A realization of the truth alone puts you in the driver's seat where your health is concerned! 

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Note: all this information is to be treated as the author’s opinion. You need to investigate these matters to arrive at your own informed opinion.

The truth is already information that has entered the complex system of humanity and the planet earth. The universe is already changed and that truth will be known to all no matter what the medical industry does to try an prevent it. The illustrations that depict the reality of ESP are stark and in the collective unconscious NOW. When one element of a complex system is added the entire system is changed and that element is already added.. it is the knowledge gained by Kyrani Eade!

Monday, 27 February 2012

How I worked out what happens to cause the panic


 

“What is it that makes a person panic?” I asked the universe again and again.

A few days later I had an inspiration to go over some notes I had made years earlier when I was using insight meditation to observe my heart muscles and how they were working. This was a meditative technique I had learnt from a Burmese Buddhist master many years earlier. With insight meditation you can look inside your own body, you can observe organs, tissues and cells through direct mental perception. I will explain so you understand what I mean and maybe you can try it yourself.

In the most basic form of meditation we begin by holding a mantra in mind, such as a candle flame. It is an anchor on which we can anchor our attention or another way of saying that is we use the flame to hold our focus steady. And the aim is to reach a level of unbroken attention or steady focus.
 
Insight meditation uses some object of perception that we are interested in the place of a mantra. It is in some ways alike Tai Chi. It is not an easy technique to learn, much less master, but I persisted so I succeeded. At first I was asked to take a 20 foot stretch of lawn and aim to walk across it in no less than 2 hours. It was an extremely difficult task. I made a lot of effort and still I could not walk it in less than 10 minutes, let alone 2 hours. Needless to say I made little progress during the retreats. However I persevered afterwards and a year later I had made the progress that I needed. The aim at first is to observe the whole body but most particularly the legs. You observe the pressure of your foot on the ground, how the leg feels lighter and lighter as you lift it up, how the knee feels as it bends, how your balance shifts as your put your weight on the other leg and so on. Once you have mastered steadfast perception you can move up to the next level. On that level you focus on the muscle in the back of your leg, the calf muscle and you begin by observing the tension and relaxation of the entire muscle as you go through the motions of walking. On the level above that you begin to observe just a small section of the muscle tissue. As you can now see the entire calf muscle in your mind you can choose any area within it to focus your attention. You perceive the tissue cells, how they contract and expand. When you can do that you move to perceiving individual cells and finally to sub-cellular areas. That is as far as I got but I am told you can even go down to the sub-atomic level. It took some years to get this far but I still think that it is possible I might have developed this technique in some other lifetime. The reason I say this is because as a very young child I had some chewing gum stuck on the top of my head and as I was removing it I could see in my mind the roots of my hairs and the cells of the skin on the top of my head. I had noticed a slightly darker area within each cell. Years later when I learnt biology at school I remembered this experience and recognized that what I had seen was the cell nuclei.


Anyway, I had discontinued this type of meditation after I moved away from Buddhism and had joined a Sufi group. However years after, when I had some problems with my heart I was motivated to begin the practice once again. At that time I did sitting meditation and I was eventually able to recover my earlier skill and observe the muscles in my heart with a high degree of clarity. In my notes I had recorded my observations. I had found that my heart was working very hard but didn’t realize then that this was due to fear arising from real danger, although I must have had some inkling at the time because I wrote "something's wrong, something feels a bit scary but I don't know what". The changes I noticed in meditation at such times were mainly associated with changes in my breathing. I observed that my breath, which under normal meditative conditions is subtle, excited but even, had suddenly become rapid and deeper as my heart rate had increased. This I now realized was due to the action of the sympathetic nervous system, this is a part of bodily processes which are fear or what the medicos call “fight or flight response”. A short time after and as a separate event, my breathing had, a little less suddenly, become deeper, fuller. I had also noted that this change in my breathing took place as my experience became unpleasant. And this time my heart rate further increased but after my breathing deepened. So what I saw was that as my experience became unpleasant a habit kicked in. This was a habit, which no doubt, had formed in my childhood.

Using the benefit of insight observation I determined that deepening the breathing was purposeful. However where my meditation was concerned it had a detrimental effect because it blunted my awareness and hence my insightfulness, my mental vision of my heart muscles and as I had a great deal of clarity the change became very obvious. My high level of awareness was lost and the vision in my mind became blurred. However it had a seemingly beneficial effect with respect to the annoying thoughts, which I did not appreciate then were indicating danger. I was doing what all people do, and that is to seek a comfort zone. I realized as I read over my notes that a comfort zone is really nothing more than a zone of mental fuzz. We overcome the unpleasant thoughts that give rise to our emotional reactivity in our body and the unpleasantness that we experience but at a cost. I could see that deepening the breath affected awareness but I still did not understand why. Then I read another note that I had made. "I can control the heart problems by staying with the fear" I had jotted down in the margin. And below it "not trying to escape it". I remembered that I did this to try and decipher the thoughts and what was wrong. In holding this attitude I pondered about it now. I was over-riding the habit of seeking a comfort zone, lessening it whenever it arose, by staying with the fear. I realized also that this must have helped me overcome any worry because until I deciphered the thoughts it was no use trying to think over a solution.

Why, I now wondered, would breathing deeper create mental fuzz? Could it in some way relate to panic? I used the current conditions that I had at my disposal to investigate this matter further. I only needed to slightly irritate my husband with musings of leaving him for him to react so as to use the “evil conditions” or in other words call over his gun-carrying individuals and have them hover around outside. When that is all that they did the threat was mild so the conditions in my body that I had to deal with were also only mildly unpleasant. Each time I had a ten minute time interval in which to begin meditation and establish a baseline of high level awareness because it took about 10 to 15 mins for the criminals to arrive outside from the time he had called them. So I was able to notice the thoughts of danger as they appeared suddenly and briefly and then just as abruptly disappear as the habit of deepening the breath took over. And I might add here that the fear react in my body didn't go away, it was simply no longer associated consciously with the thoughts that ignited it and kept it going. Another important thing to note too was that the nasty thoughts, such as "be sorry if leave here" and "don't know what's out there" came from my husband. Notice that the way they were presented made them look like my thoughts and not as presented ideas. And furthermore as time went on and I was more prepared to be aware of the danger conditions, I was able to perceive people approaching before they were close enough for me to hear the noise of their car engines as they came up the hill. Since I could do all this I thought at the same time that I could not only observe the habit but also train myself to overcome it. And as time went on I only needed to made stronger hints at leaving for my husband to step up his threatening stance. And then I noticed that the ideas that came were not only of my husband's presentations but also snippets of the dialogue between the criminals, as in "is he going to give us a go ahead this time". I had taken some protective measures though. I had a carpenter build a massive wooden door to my bedroom with two bolt on it, top and bottom. So unless I went outside I was safe. Even so the reality of having people with guns outside, especially that were there at my husbands invitation and whom he could bring inside the house was most certainly frightening, especially when at the time I did not know what counter measures I could take. Nonetheless I needed just such a range of real conditions of danger to work with, from mild to moderate. And with one hundred thousand hours or more of meditation experience under my belt I was well positioned to conduct the experiments that I needed to do.

In the first experiment I held the attitude of “stay with the fear”. I was able to observe the thoughts of danger and glimpsed the rapid changes in my body that are the emotion of fear. Over and over I observed that this emotion was nothing more than a range of somatic reactions, which arose following from AND logically from.. the thoughts of danger. The initial processes were often too rapid to even get a glimpse of but the fear processes once established were easy to perceive. What I can say is that fear is not some psychological condition at all by physical, first, second and last! The parts of the brain, the limbic system, which I was able to glimpse had to do with accelerating the heart, heightening perception, intensifying my senses and other related functions. I would hardly call it an emotional centre as I had seen these processes in other situations that had nothing to do with emotion.

In the second experiment I allowed myself to seek a comfort zone or in other words to run away from and avoid the fear. In this experiment I was able to observe the effects of the comfort zone habit over the top of what I now knew was the basic conditions and processes in my body, the fear. The habit was still largely automatic despite the years of meditation but only while I was unsuspecting of what was happening or when I allowed it to happen. No doubt without the meditation that I had done over the years this habit would have been much more serious.
As the coping habit took a hold I saw how my higher level of my awareness was abruptly lowered because my attention was affected. I then took two lines of action. Sometimes I tried to reduce the breathing and I did achieve a higher level of awareness and the re-appearance in mind of the danger thoughts, but this path was difficult and not always reliable. The other method was not to try and control my breathing at all but rather to restore my concentration on my mantra, I regained attention more easily and more reliably and hence recovered the higher levels of awareness. When my higher level of awareness was restored, I noticed that my breathing had returned to being subtle, excited and even again. It returned to this state without any effort from me. And as breathing returned to normal and my awareness expanded, the thoughts reappeared. I could observe how the thoughts appeared, disappeared and reappeared again with the changes to my breathing. I did not purposefully think the thoughts again, I simply had recovered full awareness of them. So what affected my awareness. The changes I had noticed again and again were changes to my breathing. Did this affect attenion and if so how? I needed to know how changes in my breathing could be associated with my attention level. And then I did another experiment. I purposely held my breath to prevent the deeper breathing and strangely enough I found that here again the level of attention was affected. What was going on?

I had an inspiration to return to the original exercise of observing the calf muscle. I thought I was doing this to hone my skill even more. I started to do some walking meditation and I suddenly observed both the activity in the muscle but also activity in various parts of my brain and I saw that as distraction. So I sat on my cushion and tried to observe the calf muscle at rest. I noticed a small amount of activity and again I noticed activity in my brain in the same areas. I had done this exercise a number of times and then one day unexpectedly as I sat focused on the calf muscle I sensed danger and fear arose in my body. And I noticed then, that when the breathing was deepened there was increased activity in my calf muscle. I was in a deep meditative state and had also concentrated on areas in my brain as I did to glimpse the early conditions of fear. But what I noticed was that the thought activity had not really disappeared. They had only become weaker signals, far weaker than all the other neural activity taking place. I realized that my brain rationalizes its fuel materials and to accommodate those areas that need it the most. This was now areas in my brain that were needed to facilitate the changes in metabolic activity, not only in the calf muscle but the entire skeletal musculature, that is all the muscles in our body that are associated with moving the body. Fear also involves a great deal of neural activity but it specifically heightens perception and the senses. The new activity however did not include this effect. Rather it caused disruption. Thus I realized that it was not my awareness that was being affected directly but my attention and primarily because the signals were now far weaker and sometimes too weak to keep in focus.

To try and give an illustration, let's say our attention is like light focus.. like having a torch in our hands. If we enter a dark room and hold the torch steady we see clearly what was hidden by the darkness. If however we wave it about vigorously we get an incomplete picture. In this same way when the brain activity was increased my level of attention was affected, enough for me to loose the unpleasant thoughts from consciousness (awareness).

For the sake of completion I have shown in the illustration above both coping habits that people use. One, like mine elevates the metabolism and causing higher activity in the brains, which makes the thought signals weaker and hence disrupts or distracts attention. The other method, in which people hold down a breath or two and/or breath more shallowly, I strongly suspect helps them acquire a state of lethagy akin to the early stages of sleep. This must cause a lowering of attention although I do not know the mechanism. I was not able to study it as it is not my habit.

I might also say here that ordinarily thoughts arise and fade away again when they are not relevant and not significant because we give them no value. When thoughts simply arise and fade away again there is no flow on effect in the body, no emotional reactivity. The person’s high level of awareness remains undisturbed. And the body remains tranquil, operating without disturbances. In contrast we cannot dismiss thoughts that are highly relevant or significant in some way, particularly we cannot attribute 'no value' to thoughts that indicate danger. We are simply "not wired" to do that. Thus if the thoughts that arise point to such matters as danger that is inexplicable we seek to avoid them, we use denial. This method does not allow the body to become tranquil. When the breathing is deepened more oxygen is absorbed by the blood and that triggers the body to move into higher gear, higher metabolic states and specifically in the skeletal musculature, which means the body is working harder than it is required to do in ordinary states of activity as in everyday life. The other method of lowering the attention moves the body into lower than ordinary states of activity.
It is also worth mentioning that I have made another finding, much earlier when I was practicing insight meditation originally, I found that in reality there is no real subconscious (and possibly also not true unconscious). It is all a matter of attention. If we hold the attention steady, ie we concentrate then we can remain fully aware of all the thoughts /perceptions in the mind. All of the bodily structures and functions etc., that I am able to observe are not observed by some miraculous means. All I am doing is holding the attention steady, by steadfast concentration I am able to bring whichever particular aspect I wish to observe into focus. In some sense we are aware of them all, even though they exist in a nebulous form within the mindstuff, but we don't remain attentive to them. We don't need to be attentive to them all of the time. We tend to be attentive to novel things, changes, anything that looks interesting, different, new and anything that might need our attention.

At the time that I first used insight meditation I didn't understand why I was stressed. Now I understood what was being done behind my back and I found that remarkably I was able to have a much greater amount of control over the habit. It made me appreciate that the neural pathways that are forged in our brains due to experience can be modified or removed fairly easily with more awareness of the thoughts that we would otherwise have shunned. I could override the coping habit when I had knowledge. That "ah ha" experience that is talked about is much more powerful than we at first appreciate. It meant that I was able to bring the habit under my conscious control as a first step to eliminating it. These experiments, and particularly overcoming of the comfort zone, unbeknown to me at the time, were to be enormously significant in my life some years later, I was able to avert, on several occasions, serious and indeed potentially lethal heart problems because I had done this work!

It is important to say here that if you meditate you will observe that there are never a lot of different thoughts in your mind all at once. Sometimes it feels as if there is a jumble but when you can focus on what there is you will always find a thought stream or a train of thoughts. Each thought arises out of the void and returned into the void again before the next one appears. Indeed when you choose to observe some aspect of your body or some activity in your body, what you are doing is calling forth the relevant thought forms/ ideas out of an undifferentiated state, which we can call "emptiness" and bring them into a state of definition. Holding a mantra is using the defined thought forms that define the mantra to the exclusion of all other activity. And it is possible to experience expanses when there is no other activity in the mind. The mind stuff is like a huge matrix of possibilities that underpin the whole of creation. All of the body’s activities are immediately preceded by thought forms or we could call them "packets of information" that arise out of the mindstuff and become defined, but we are not normally aware of them at the precise moment that this happens because our minds are not focused but distracted with a lot of other things. The realization of there being thought forms or "packets of information" arising just prior to each and every action that we do was a crucial observation that enabled me to create and use mental precriptions. Changes in the body can only be brought about by changes in the mindstuff and that means the choosing and twigging of information. It is not some mysterious energy that has some magical effect on body structures or functions as many New Age healers are selling to the public. What is even more important is that self-prescribed and self-administered mental prescripitions are the absolute tools to deal with your health -with 100% results, satisfaction guaranteed. In most cases, no need of doctors. I have successfully battled very bad conditions and gained fantastic results without a doctor in sight, not even through a telescope, and for seven years now!



Monday, 20 February 2012

The cause of pathologic stress



The next confessions that came and the incidents that happened at this time, shed light on the matter of pathological stress and helped me to later understand how it is brought into being. Indeed if my husband had not admitted to such things as are done and thus shed light on the matter, I would never have known anything. I never thought that the things he described could be thought of let alone be done to people.

I became a lot more aware and I began to see that there was a presence of people around me, whether I was at home or out doing my shopping, visiting friends etc., I took note of what was happening around me. I even bought a camera to record what was going on around me. At home it was more obvious. I noticed strange characters arrive and park their cars in the street outside our house and it was these that gave me the most information. I saw an association between their presence and my heart and breathing problems. When I felt anxious I could go to the window and look outside, and always saw the two cars that I had seen on the night that he threatened me. Sometime I even caught a glimpse of the men in the vacant block that adjoined our yard on the one side. When I felt well and looked out there were never strangers around nor their cars. And I saw one other very disturbing thing. If I had voiced any disagreement with my husband on some important issue then within a ten or fifteen minute period I would feel anxious and sure enough there were people outside. Years earlier I had learnt to control these health problems, enough to prevent harm. On one occasion a man had come into our yard from the back of an adjoining empty block of land that adjoined another street so I called the police but he was gone by the time the police arrived. I told them about the people going onto the empty block next door but they said they would not come to my aid if the offenders had not actually stepped onto my property and that furthermore if my husband had invited them, I could not get police help unless they had threatened me directly or done me any physical harm.

Owing to the continuing presence of strange people around me when I went out to do my shopping etc., I decided to go to the domestic violence section of the police. I thought maybe I could get the police to stop them from being around me. The policeman I spoke to was very supportive but said there was little he could do unless there was physical violence. But he said that what I described was mental cruelty and that this was acknowledged in the courts even though the medical profession did not acknowledge it at all. However he said I needed evidence. I would have to see exactly the same person or persons near me on at least three successive occasions and that preferably there needed to be independent evidence or a reliable witness. The time that I had the greatest chance to gather such evidence was at home but they came in the dark and I could not reliably ascertain that each time they were the same people. I had bought a video camera but even with night shot vision I could not get much unless I happen to see them leaving and then when the lights were on the number plate I got a few shots of them. This was hardly enough evidence.

I told the police officer about my husband’s confessions and at that time he had written several pages. I handed over the exercise book and he read it. He said “if he is writing the stuff down, get him to sign and date it as well!" However the officer did admit that he didn't know how useful it would be in court. He also told me about a women’s shelter that I should look into if I need to go somewhere in the future. When I asked for the phone to be tapped to at least find out who my husband was ringing the policeman said he could not do that as there needed to be strong evidence before the phone could be tapped.

When I got home I told my husband I wanted him to sign and date the material he was prepared to write down. His response was "not a problem" and immediately began to write..

“I, (stating his full name), CONFESS THAT I HAD MY WIFE FOLLOWED OFTEN WHEN SHE WAS DRIVING HER CAR TO AND FROM THE SYDNEY HOME, AT (gave the full address). THE STALKING EVEN TOOK PLACE WHEN I WAS PRESENT IN THE CAR WITH HER. THE AIM WAS TO UNSETTLE (stated my name), THROUGH SYSTEMATIC MENTAL CRUELTY. AS A RESULT I SUCCESSFULLY DESTROYED HER HEALTH.”

He wrote it in his normal handwriting, even though the first such entry he made was printed in capitals and he signed with his normal signature. He did not have a problem in writing it down and signing it and dating it. He calmly told me that if challenged about it, all he had to do was say “Oh I just wrote these things down and gosh I don’t know why I did it” and added with supreme confidence that “he would get away with it”. He arrogantly proclaimed that it did not constitute evidence as he said “good people don’t like to believe that such things happen”. Then added "a psychiatrist would only find fault with you, he'd say you were the one that's crazy. So” he said emphatically “any statements, whether signed and dated or not, means nothing!” In contrast to this confident outburst he had an enigmatic element in his voice and in his demeanour, an element that seemed to be indicating a need to be exposed. On a few occasions thereafter he said “maybe some day good people will believe what I have written and want to investigate this matter further”. And over the coming weeks he wrote more blatant confessions again and again. As for instance

“I had attempted to destroy my wife's mental health completely with devastating physical affects produced. These attempts were increased when she stopped driving on her own (owing to bad health whilst in Sydney). I felt satisfied at the results that I had seen. I was jealous of my wife’s abilities, which were much superior to mine and I felt inferior to her. I saw my wife experience extreme difficulty in breathing and I was feeling delighted.” Signed.

And the following… “I engaged hit men to frighten my wife when she was traveling alone or with others, including myself. My wife's health deteriorated under this attack. She seemed to be unable to carry out simple activities which are normally taken for granted eg watching TV, reading a book. She was unable to walk through the adjoining small park.” This was also signed and dated.

I wanted to leave, get a divorce and move on with my life but my gut feeling was "stay there". I felt that there was an unknown danger that held me back and as I discovered later some of my friends, people I trusted were not friends but enemies. They would have certainly betrayed me. Then I chanced upon an article in a magazine that I had recently bought. It said that about 65% of women and 45% of men who are divorced are worse of years after their divorce than during the bad marriage. I had a fair idea by now that he was not alone, that he had those he called "his people" whom he could call on to have me stalked and terrorized. I also knew that he had known all of my friends and relatives so he could easily find me if I went to any of them to get emotional support. Furthermore at that time I did not know who among them was friend and who was foe. I decided to stay until I had enough information about how the health problems were brought into being and then I would leave.

Every day, morning and night the confessions continued.
“You say you must be in a relationship of some sort with the person?”
“Yes. Without relationship nothing can be done” he said. “If the evil one is a relative, spouse or already a friend then it is easy because the connection is already there. You only need to keep doing things to keep getting the person’s trust. If you are not related to the target and you want to stand back from the action then you get one or two evil ones to befriend the target. Evil ones as I told you use procedures. One procedure helps the evil ones to get the target to trust them and to become a close friend once the target trusts them…”
“Woo woo woo stop there a minute what sort of procedure gets you trust?” I laughed but his explanation was chilling.
“You arrange to make them anxious. A meeting is arranged somewhere and when you arrive at the meeting place, you have their anxiety vanish. That way they get a good feeling associated with your arrival.” I started laughing again. How on earth can you make a person anxious when you're not even there and then make it go away when you arrive?" I asked not wanting to believe that this was possible. This sounded absurd. He never lost his composure but grinned in a way that said "I know things that you don't know".
“How on earth can you make a person anxious, and before you arrive?" I asked again, demanding to know. "Do you say something to them on their mobile phone or something?”
“No” he resounded and then remarked “you don’t know anything about the procedures.”
“Then tell me about them” again I demanded, still not expecting to hear anything sensible.

“First, you introduce the target to the crims.”
“Introduce them?” This was too much! I must have looked completely dumbfounded as I looked across at him.
“Not in the way you’re thinking” he replied. “You have to take the target somewhere where they can see one or more of the crims” he told me and gazed at me with eyes of black glass.
“Go on” I said, still looking back at him in disbelief. I had seen his malice now on many occassions but even so it was still difficult to accept or even believe.
“The evil one” he began, grinning all the while, “gets the target to go out somewhere with them. They may go for a coffee in a coffee shop or go shopping together. It has to be something ordinary because a normal approach is always used by evil ones.” And of course this reference to an evil one was to himself.
“I see” I said and again prompted him to continue.
“A busy public place is good because there are lots of other people around so the crims are just people in the crowd.”
“well if there are lots of people around and the crims blend in, then how is the person going to see just the people you want them to see, or doesn’t that matter?”
“Oh it matters” he responded immediately. “A minor incident is created so that the target’s attention is drawn to the crims. The crims may be other evil people” he said “or they may just be common criminals who have done time for something, murder, armed robbery, rape, that kind of thing.” He then added “the incident is minor; minor” he stressed, tapping his index fingers on the table authoritatively “minor is the operative word”. “One just wants the target’s attention. One doesn’t want the target to remember them and recognize them later.”
“You don’t want the person to remember them later?”
“The target must be able to be aware of the crims without realizing it” he said.
“Unconsciously?” I suggested.
“Yes” he replied, “I suppose you can call it that” and shrugged his shoulders.
“Go on... then what?”
“Once introduced the evil one can then use those crims to stress the target, make them anxious.”
“So how is that done?”
“The evil one waits a few days and then makes another arrangement to meet the target somewhere. Or another way is if they have offered any information as to their movements to someone else. If this method is used then that information must be gathered by some other evil ones, who you may know whoever the someone else is.. a friend of the target's or whatever.. but the target doesn’t know you know them or know any others who know that person, only then it’s safe to use it. For instance the target may have revealed that they are going to Myers to buy a new dress to a friend. That information can then be passed on to you via someone that knows you and knows the target's friend, so you know when and where to find the target. It is important not to arouse the target’s suspicion.” He paused, grinned then puckered his lips. “In this latter method when the evil one goes to meet the target it must look like pure chance” he said and broke up laughing. Indeed he laughing as if someone had told him a really good joke.

“Go on” I continued to prompt him, even though I felt disgusted at his display of callousness.
“First the crims are given the information and find the target and hang around in the vicinity of the target but they do not approach the target nor do they do anything obvious. If the evil one only wants the target a little anxious then the crims can be told to just hang about talking among themselves about the target, talking about 'maybe doing something'. That is usually enough to make the target anxious but as the crims dress well and they don’t act strange and blend into the crowd they are not noticed. It becomes very confusing for the target because they feel something is wrong, but when they look around they can’t see anything wrong. It can be a real blow to their self-confidence.” He grinned with delight. I tried to keep my attention on his words and the notes I was taking but I did not like what I was hearing.
“So you’re saying that the person unconsciously knows the criminals are near them because they have seen them before but don’t realize it. And further to that they unconsciously know that the criminals are talking about maybe doing them harm… possibly” I asked not wanting to believe that not only can a person unconsciously know something like that, but that such things could be thought of and done to another person.
“It only works if the target has seen the crims previously” he said “and they don’t become obvious”.
“That’s sick” I told him angrily, even though I was still resisting the very idea. He looked at me contemptuously and told me I was just na├»ve like most good people and that the world was not a nice place then he went on one could say with "utter objectivity!

“The crims move on and leave the area, as they have been instructed to do, as soon as they see the evil one arrive or they may be given an instruction by mobile phone to get a move on because the evil one is there somewhere and ready to approach the target. With the crims gone the target feels good again, but they attribute it to the arrival of the evil one, whom of course they think is their friend.” He grinned with a sparkle in his eyes and continued. “So an association can be built in the target between feeling good and the appearance or presence of the evil one. This is a good way to manufacture trust but you can also use a modification of this procedure to manufacture other things too, such as consent for something… conformity and other things.” I stared at him for a while not knowing what to say. After a short silence he wrote down what he had written and continued. “Once the target trusts the evil one, they are likely to confide in them and that gives the evil one a lot of information, such as where and when they plan to go somewhere and what they plan to do for instance, or they may tell you their fears or their aspirations, their plans for the future and so on. All this is useful information. It can be used, it’s the ammunition one needs to do evil work.” I started at him angrily.
“So you arranged for me to have seen these characters, who are outside at night? You arranged for them to know me?” He grinned as he admitted it. He told me that I had seen them in the city and specifically when we were at the herbalist. He had come with me to the hervalist for support! He said that they were on the opposite side of the road. I did not remember it at first but then I realized there were a few occasions when I saw some men on the opposite side of the road. I remembered because at the time I felt uneasy by their presence. They gave me "a bad feeling"and I had pointed them out and complained to him about them. He had said that I was over-reacting and that they were ‘just people in the street’.
“Yes I remember” I said.
“You were too suspicious" he said "but you accepted my put off” he added with satisfaction. Unfortunately I had trusted him.

That day we stopped earlier than usual as I was too angry at what I had heard. I went over this material, over and over, even though it made me angry every time I thought about it, I wanted to be certain I understood it all. What he had told me sounded surreal but at the same time I realized there was at least one piece of evidence that made me unable to let it go. Since the threat to my life was made openly, I had found the cause of my anxiety, especially that which I experienced very late at night. At those times I had gotten out of bed and gone to my window. Each time I saw one or two particular cars parked in the street. And I knew that they did not belong to neighbors or neighbours' friends. At that time on the one side there was an empty house and on the other a vacant block of land. Opposite there were also two vacant blocks of land. On a few occasions I had heard the cars arrive and looked out to see two men emerge. Rarely did they hang around on the footpath. Mostly they went into the vacant block next door. If I felt some anxiety I always went to look out of my window and I always saw the cars and on a few occassions I glimpsed the men in the empty block next door, which was heavily wooded and not easy to see people if they were there. And that anxiety did not occur after I’d seen the cars but before! At times that I did not feel any anxiety I never saw the men or their cars.

There was at this time another piece of evidence. That evidence was to be found in my husband’s own experience. I had unwittingly conducted an experiment that day, which bore results. Many afternoons I made a recording of the things that were said that day before I converted it into note form, because he did not write everything he said down and my notes were sketchy. That day my cats, Pussinella jumped up onto my desk, as was her practice and rolled over wanting me to pat her, which I did. However as there was a lot to record I continued to speak into the microphone. I was quite angry for the deceit he had admitted that day, in making me known to the criminals that were now harassing me. I was speaking angrily and to try and calm down I turned the recording into a conversation with my cat. I sounded off about my husband and repeatedly told her I would get evidence and take it to the police, which I did intend to do. I wanted the police to catch the people he had turning up outside so I could leave safely. After half an hour I turned off the tape recorder and settled down at the computer to write. Not more than twenty minutes had passed when my husband came to my door and came at me in a huff.
“Who were you talking to?” He demanded to know. I was taken aback.
“I didn’t talk to anyone I told him.”
“You told someone about me?” He insisted. I told him no, he was mistaken, and challenged him.
"So what was I supposed to have said?" I asked him. He could not answer me on this and the subject was dropped. Not even for a moment had I had considered the recording and the mock conversation with my cat.

A few nights later this incident came to my mind and I had puzzled over his reaction. Then I remembered my cat and the mock conversation. I wondered could it be possible that he could have detected it. In the coming days I repeated the experiment deliberately. However I was not angry and even if I tried to sound angry I obviously did not had the same effect because he made no complaints. Indeed I had been recording the conversations from the very first day and he had not complained or detected anything. A week later I was again feeling angry about something he had done in the past that he was now admitting to, and as the first mock conversation with my cat had helped me diffuse the anger, I did the same again. However this time I had a lot of work to do, so I did not have the conversation until late that night. As I had the whole day to think about it by the time I got round to recording, I was quite angry. This time I did the exercise deliberately and more intensely and as an experiment because I was curious about the previous occasion. He was in his room watching television and I kept a watch of the corridor through the use of a mirror and I made sure my voice was nearly a whisper. Even so his room was too far from mine for me to be heard. I never saw him come out of his room. I was satisfied he could not have heard anything. However the next day he confronted me again and demanded to know who I spoke to. This time he was angrier and he was carrying the long wooden handled clothes brush and threatened to bash me with it if I didn’t tell him, to whom I had spoken about him. I was forced to reveal to him the experiment- the mock conversation with my cat in order to calm him down. He searched my eyes and then throw down the brush and stormed off. Only on the two occasions when I was actually angry did he detect anything and only on those two occasions, as I realized later, had I talked about getting evidence for the police. Thus I realized he must have expereinced somevulnerability and fear.

Another, third piece of evidence came and this time from science. One night not too long after the discussion about creating anxiety, I was hunting through my tapes to find an old Greek movie I had recorded from television to watch. It was a ten hour extended play cassette tape, on which I had a lot of stuff, including some documentaries. It was one of those documentaries that I chanced upon, as I was fast forwarding through the tape that caught my attention. The documentary was about human extrasensory perception or ESP, also known as psi. It pricked my curiosity so I watched it instead of the movie. ESP is scoffed at by mainstream science, however there was one aspect, although not without its critics, that they agreed was at least reproducible in the laboratory and thus considered real by some scientists. This aspect is called precognition or preselection. This phenomenon, as several scientists on the documentary stated, was the easiest to prove in the laboratory. And while the results were indisputable, there was a lot of criticism about what the results meant. Lay people do not realize that experimental results are only the beginning. Such results have to be interpreted and explained. This means that the scientist's understanding and their personal bias can become a factor in determining what the results mean. Some wanted to write off the results as spurious, even thought they were reproducible.

In precognition experiments a subject is seated before a computer screen asked to observe a wide variety of images that are randomly selected by the computer and displayed on the screen. The subject is 'wired up' so that his or her vital signs can be measured. It is found that when a computer randomly selects a distressing image and not only before the image is display, but even before the distressing image is selected by the computer, the subject’s displays symptoms of distress. The most common symptoms monitored are heart rate and sweat rates. These symptoms increased in the first instance slightly and then significantly once the distressing image is seen by the subject. How can a subject know what they are about to see? Even more so how can they know what a computer is about to choose? Some scientists were claiming that we may have some extraordinary evolutionary trait to help us predict the future. I’m afraid I found that explanation far-fetched. For one thing that would mean that we live in a deterministic universe and we can see conclusive evidence from modern physics that most definitely we do not live in a deterministic universe! However even from an ethical point of view it is does not make sense because if the future was all pre-determined, we cannot be responsible for anything. Why punish a criminal if the crime is pre-determined and they are only ‘a machine pre-programmed to do the deed’? It’s garbage! Other scientists were challenging the person’s ability to know. They were saying that the brain waves or energy produced in the brain was too weak. So by the time it passes out of the skull it was nearly zero so cannot detect anything in the computer. Quite so! But their suggestions rested on there being only a materialistic universe and nothing else. Whether this phenomenon is understood or not, the person does know, the results are real.


I realized then that scientists, the majority of whom are atheists, are looking strictly at material solutions. What I realized from this documentary was that it is possible to prove scientifically and conclusively that a person can know something even though they have no sensory information. So what my husband was describing could be examined and observed.. scientifically!

This documentary spoke of a subject and a computer. My husband was advocating the following:-
1.people in relationship, which was a necessary conditon,
2. the target had to be introduced to the criminals before hand,
2. the person seeking to do harm needs to have real means or the ability to act, a gun and
3. the person seeking to do harm needs to be able to hold real criminal intent.

To proof these thing was critical for me. Being a scientist myself, I wanted the evidence that satisfied me.
I wanted to answer the question "are we all born with some natural ability that we could use to our benefit? And if so then we need to be able to speak about it without feeling shame and without it being treated as a symptom of ‘mental illness’. The medical profession treat a gut feeling as delusional and they flatly deny the existence of ESP, relationship or no relationship. What my husband was saying was that a person was capable of insightfully perceiving danger that was posed by other people, provided that he or she had met the people who posed the danger before hand. This was the first piece of information that explained how a person can be affected and seriously affected from a distance! AND how it brought into being the physical symptoms. Danger causes us to feel fear and the medicos call it psychological but I was now starting to realize that it isn't psychological at all but physical. We feel fear in the body because it is none other than a variety of bodily processes that are ignited to prepare us for action should we need to take action. 

In the following confessions he revealed to me how this simple means can be turned into a potent force, not merely to give someone a serious scare and make them panic, but far more seriously later on he admitted how it could be used to affect a person’s heart, even enough to kill them. I was to discover how a healthy heart can be made to suffer a heart attack!

“We have already talked about how to make the target trust the evil one” he began the next day bright and early. Indeed the early morning bird calls were everywhere around us. “You’re clear on that now?” he asked, the presence of the university lecturer in him was never far away.
“Yes, I have understood so far” I said, “so now what happens once the target trusts you?” I asked as I began to light the candles that were standing in rows, now permanently stuck to the table.
“Well, Mr Nice Guy” (a reference he had started making to himself), “can then start using a procedure to condition and gain control over the target”.

“Condition them in what way?” I asked and I knew to some extent he spoke about me, but I was not the only one he had maltreated, not by a long way.
“The target must be conditioned by making them feel intense fear and be controlled” he explained.
“How can you make a person feel intense fear” I asked him. His eyes lit up almost as bright as the candlelight, but with a sheer black sheen.
“As I told you it is done from a distance” he replied looking satisfied. I had observed by now that anxiety could be caused under certain conditions because a person in a close relationship with another person, whether a good or bad relationship, can become insightful. However I was very curious as to how intense fear could possibly be achieved.

“Go on” I prompted him.
“Once again you need information as to where you can pin point the target in space and time” he said.
“I presume you mean where you can find them, specifically in a public place?”
“That is most desirable” he said. “It doesn’t have to be a public place but a busy public place means it is easy to bring the hoods in close proximity to the target, without arousing suspicion. And as I have said all along they don’t act strange” he stressed. “They can be seen as hoods but they must not make obvious signs that connect them to the target. The best result is achieved if they don’t look like hoods at all. If they are dressed in a suit looking like a professional person talking on a mobile. If there is more than one then they may stand around talking among themselves.”
“Why is it better to have the hoods or crims, whatever you call them, to look good? Surely” I asked, “if they look like hoodlums wouldn’t they be more likely to unsettle the person or ‘the target’ to use your language? And if the person is unsettled maybe you can get them afraid.” He grinned at me and then gave me an explanation which later on led me to a most significant discovery.

“If the hoods you ask to do the job look like hoods, then the target can certainly be unsettled and fearful, but they can’t be made to panic in that way. The procedure to make the target panic requires for the hoods to not be obvious… it is best if they look ordinary. They must be seen as ordinary, everything must look ordinary… the whole scene must look ordinary… The target is at a complete loss as to where the danger that they feel is coming from if everything looks ordinary.” “Only that way” he said, “can the target be made to panic. If they see anything suspicious they’ll be frightened and maybe even panicky but they will not be really panicked. And if they are not really panicked” he added in a matter-of-fact manner, “then the evil one doesn’t get an edge.” He grinned and looked pleased with himself. I found this extraordinary but questioning him further about it didn’t immediately yield anything more. He kept insisting “the target must be at a loss to know what is happening if they are to be made to feel intense fear and to panic”.

“How can you get intense fear to start with?” I asked.
“Once the hoods start talking amongst themselves about maybe shooting the target” he said. “We got action!”
“We got action?” I asked, “what does that mean?”
“Well firstly the target is scared” he said “really scared!”
“I don’t believe you are going to make someone feel intense fear just by getting a bunch of hoods talking about maybe shooting the person, especially when they are dressed to look ordinary” I told him. “Do they have a gun?” I asked and once again he grinned.
“I am calling them hoods” he said in measured tones, “but of course they are what are known as gun-carrying individuals”.
“So they have a gun? They’re armed?”
“Yes” he said and then stressed “the conditions must be real otherwise the procedure won’t work. Yes, of course they are armed” he confirmed. “At least one of them is carrying a revolver. And they are crims, some may have done time for armed robbery or murder.” I was stunned; not only for his admission but that he would know such people. I slumped back in my chair so that the high table and the candles covering it hid him from view, more or less. I found it very hard to listen to what he was saying but at the same time I was driven, so I sat up straight again and asked.

“So you know criminals that have done time and are out in the community again?” He looked down and wrote something, taking his time before he answered my question.
“I don’t know the crims. I only know the overseer, one or two of the bosses!” he exclaimed.
“Who are the bosses and how do you get to know them? Surely you would have to be a part of …” I stopped, yet again I found myself not wanting to accept that he had anything to do with any underworld, even in the face of what I had seen and was experiencing.
“You live in the world you like to believe in” he said, “all good people think the world is different to what it really is. The world is a bad place” he emphasized. “And the underworld is not what you see on television. Most people in the underworld these days have no criminal record. They have jobs and families and they appear respectable, regular guys… nice guys” he emphasized. This was not what I wanted to hear at all but I prompted him to go on. “I told you there are many levels, and people on one level don’t generally know people on another level. A few people know people on a level immediately above them and others know people on a level immediately below them. For instance I don’t know the people at the very top but I also don’t know the people at the bottom either and I don’t have to.”
“So you’re telling me that there is a big organization… what like the mafia?” I asked.
“NO, NO, NO!” he resounded. “I already told you there are just networks, people who know other like-minded people. You’re not going to find any organizations and signed up memberships” he said and laughed.
“So who are the bosses that you just mentioned” I asked.
“Oh” he said “these are people who know criminals. Criminals are a sought after commodity” he offered and made a shuffling gesture with his right hand. “Evil people use them, use their services to help them gain power and influence over the people they want to control.”
“So the bosses are part of the lower levels!” I suggested.
“Yes” he said. “They hire the criminals as appropriate, depending on what you want done. Not all types of crims have the same effect.”
“And you obviously know one of the bosses”.
“I’m not going to tell you who I know but I will tell you that I know more than one of the bosses, I know several of them, especially in Sydney.

I summed up for him. “So real criminals are employed”, he nodded, “with a real gun in their pocket.. and loaded” and again he nodded. “They are told where they can locate the person that is going to be victimized and proceed to locate the person.” He puckered his lips this time in response but it was a nod. “They look ordinary and they don’t act strange.” He continued to pucker his lips. “And they talk about maybe shooting the person.”
“Yessssss” he hissed at me when I had finished speaking. “Right so far” he said and made a tick in the air with his finger, as if he was passing me through some oral exam.

“I can accept that maybe they can make the person scared, if the person is insightful enough, but you reckon that person will panic.”
“There is a bit more to it” he said and launched into yet another lecture-like discourse. “As you now appreciate…” he said grating his words, “the people need to be connected for this to work”. He glared at me. It was the day after I had admitted to the experiment that I had done, in talking about him in a mock conversation with my cat. He was still angry but he continued nonetheless. “There are two relationships. One is between the target and the crims, which the target doesn’t realize. The other one and the one that counts is between the target and the evil one, whom the target trusts.” He thought for a moment and then continued. “Timing is all important” he said. “The evil one needs to know when the crims approach the vicinity of the target. Depending on the circumstances this can be pre-arranged or a message can be passed by mobile phone. This can be done directly to the evil one or it can be done through the boss… or” he paused a moment once again, looked coy and then said “the info can be gained from the target.” Then with a renewed air of confidence he added. “The evil one can get the target to ring them if they are just about to leave somewhere or on arriving somewhere and so on.” I realized then why he had an obsession with my ringing him to tell him where I was and when and where I was going. He wanted to know when I had left my sister’s place or arrived at the supermarket etc. He gloated as he gazed at me for a minute or so as if he knew what I was thinking but said nothing and continued with his discourse.

“At the right time the evil one entertains the thought that the target could be shot. The crims must be really there, otherwise it won’t work. The matter is real only when the crims are there and only when these guys are willing to go ahead if a go-ahead were given” he admitted.
“What then?” I asked, feeling sick to the stomach. He was so dark and on top of that I had not seen any of it all those years! How could I have not seen it, how could I have not suspected anything? I knew this was not something to beat myself up about though, after all I knew many other women and some men too, who, as it was clear to me now had been placed in similar situations and not suspected anything either.

“The target mentally perceives the danger and thinks that something bad could happen to them but they can’t see anything around that looks out of the ordinary. They react to the thoughts that they have. Some people might ring the evil one that they trust for moral support" he said and laughed. "Others might just have thoughts like ‘please don’t let anything bad happen to me’” he said and began laughing senselessly.
“I suppose they don’t know that they are in effect seeking help or maybe pleading for mercy from someone who wouldn’t even know the word enough to look it up in the dictionary” I retorted. For a moment I thought he’d stop laughing and feel ashamed by the things that he had done but that did not happen.
“Something like that” he said laughed even harder.

I would have said this whole thing was crazy but for the fact that I had had four panic attacks some years earlier. Each time I did get a thought that some danger was looming or that something bad might happen to me. And furthermore I’d known others who had said the same. On the internet I had read that everyone that suffers a panic attack has the same type of thoughts. I had not said anything to him or anyone else about what thoughts had crossed my mind, yet he described accurately some of what I had thought and felt. It had never occurred to me that my husband was in any way involved. I was stunned but at the same time I felt riled. However my burning desire for information again took over and I easily dismissed the thoughts that made me angry. I lit another candle, composed myself and said,
“go on”. He continued.

“The evil one, unbeknown to the target, has the power of life and death over them” he said looking across at me with glee, but I remained silent, unmoved. I was determined not to react. He hung his head for a moment or two and then continued. “The evil one can give a go-ahead if they want to or they can call it all off if they want to” he said and paused. “In any case after the person has been panicked for ten or fifteen minutes, you let them off!” He said as he flicked his index finger from the back of his thumb. “By that time the target has got the message” he added.
“Got what message?”
“Well you make them panic if they don’t do what you want… such as wanting to go to job interviews” he growled.

“So you arrange for the person to have a panic attack at a time when they will associate it with something that you want them to do or not to do?” I asked, trying to keep the matter impersonal. However it was hard not to remain unmoved. I had experienced a panic attack just before my first job interview and even though I attended it, I did not come across very well as I had been badly shaken.
“I was ready to go to another interview after the first time though” I said stubbornly. This time however I’d had a panic attack at home and it disabled me so badly I decided against going to the interview. I knew I would not be able to be at my best. He puckered his lips but didn’t say anything. “And I was still ready to go after the second one too, and I would have if my health had not suffered.” He ignored what I had said and continued on saying…“Usually the target agrees to whatever it is that the evil one wants, not to go somewhere, not to do something, not to disagree with the evil one and so on… the list is endless. And of course” he added “they don’t know it!” Certainly I did not know he was behind my health problems.

“Once you have conditioned the person in this way, I suppose you reckon you control them” I said indignantly and as an after thought I added, “although getting someone not to do one thing is hardly ‘controlled.’” He did not answer to this immediately and I did not press him for any answer. I dismiss the matter and asked him to go on but he did not want to let the matter go.
“Firstly to address the matter of controlled” he said belligerently, “it is not a matter of just one thing. Success in getting results means you aim to get more and more until you dictate what the other can or cannot do! Men should be the ones that make the decisions. The woman needs to learn to be obedient to the wishes of her husband! She needs to know her place.”
“That is last century stuff” I retorted.
“There are many men who use these methods” he said.
“You are a professional person, educated...” I stared at him in disbelief.
“Yes” he agreed and added “I’m not the only one like me” he emphasized, “that is doing this sort of thing”.
“You are going to tell me that doctors and lawyers and what, engineers and so on do this sort of thing?” I wanted to put him down but he came back even stronger.
“Yes, some people from all of the above do” he insisted. “I’ve told you about it” he said and then pointing his finger repeatedly at me he added. “If you don’t want to believe it that is not my fault”. He glared at me for a while and then slyly added “the woman doesn’t realize anything. She thinks she has medical problems and her husband is her savior, her best friend in the world” he laughed with vulgarity this time nearly falling from his chair. I didn’t know whether to believe him or not. I didn’t know whether he was just baiting me. I shrugged this off and continued to question him.

“And you reckon you got that sort of control over me?”
“No” he admitted you posed problems”. That was interesting, so I asked.
“What problems?”
“Well firstly you could sense danger before the time was right to get the desired effect. You are too intuitive” he said looking particularly ungracious at having to admit to partial failure.
“Anything else?” I asked.
“Well another problem was that too often you still went against me anyway.”
“You didn’t get the desired effect in other words, despite the threats to my life? So let me remind you I’m here to hear everything, while you have things to say and then I will leave, whether dead or alive.” He growled like a wild animal caged but suddenly he changed tack and even appeared friendly!
“I have agreed to talk to you and I am telling you as much as I can” he said.
“Everything… I want to know everything” I told him.
“I am not going to give you names” he said.
“I am not interested in names” I told him, “I am interested in what is said and done by those you call ‘your people’… evil people” I said. I was trying to spell out what I wanted. He nodded but did not say anymore that day. However he had described the basic means to ‘causing a person grief’ as he’d euphemistically describe the harmful acts. In particular he had said that to get the person to panic was ‘the mildest dose of grief’. He further told me that this was the kernel of the procedures used to ‘bring on a heart attack’.

That day and night I puzzled over the idea that a person victimized in the way in which he described needed to be kept totally ignorant of the truth in order to make them panic. Why would a person panic if they can’t see anything wrong? Why when everything looks ordinary? Surely, I thought. “if a person had sensory information that all looked well around them.. surely it would allay their fears. However there was a problem with my reasoning for I knew by then that any danger a person is able to insightfully perceive, owing to relationship, and if it is real danger, would make them fearful. I realized that when the danger is real the thoughts that indicate danger cannot simply be dismissed.

From my meditational practice over the years I had seen time and time again those thoughts that are imaginary and have no reality or that are not relevant or not significant enough to us, can be discharged from mind. But in recent times I had begun to appreciate that thoughts can’t simply be dismissed if they depict reality, especially if they are thoughts that indicate a threat to a person’s life. If the matter is serious and pending it needs addressing so it is natural for those thoughts to persist. Thoughts of danger and especially looming danger necessarily generate fear and I could see that intense fear under the circumstances was justifiably ignited. Fear is a natural reaction that helps us prepare to confront danger. Fear means our body’s energy producing processes are ignited so that we can take action if we need to run away or defend ourselves. Fear also puts us on high alert.

However I wondered, what happens if everything around us looks ordinary? A person cannot correlate the thoughts of danger and the associated fear with anything that we can see or hear around them. Perhaps the person comes to doubt their own thoughts and feelings? Maybe they do just loose confidence in themselves. But I couldn’t see how this would lead one to panic.
“What is it that makes a person panic” I asked the universe.